With the holidays just behind us and the evidence of their passing still scattered all over the family room, now is the perfect time for “Out with the old, in with the new!” With these ideas, get the kids involved in the process for a great life lesson—tears-free!
Broaching the subject. It’s important for kids to understand that it’s impossible to hold on to everything, and that they’ll be able to enjoy their new toys much more if they have room for them. Be gentle but upbeat; if you come at them with sympathetic eyes, they’ll take that to mean that this is a bad thing, and that they’re about to experience a great loss. Stay positive!
Deciding how to dispose of items. This part of the discussion can be a great way to head off any hurt feelings that may be bubbling up. Letting the kids decide the best course of action can be a great way to help them feel less like they are losing toys and more like they are in control of their things. Offer them only two or three options, as any more than that can be overwhelming or confusing. Some great ideas include:
-
Donating the items to an organization like Goodwill or The Salvation Army so that they’ll go to kids who don’t have many, if any, toys of their own.
-
Packing up the items in bags and boxes to save for a spring yardsale. Let the kids use the money made from their toys to buy one special item, or divide it evenly amongst them as pocket money.
-
Throwing the items away. Present this option last, as it is the least appealing. Presenting it first could bring on tears, but saving it for last makes the previous options seem even more appealing.
Disposing of the old toys. This can be a tricky area, but it’s a really great opportunity to build trust and compassion. Let the kids take the reins, but offer the gentle voice of reason. And be willing to lose a battle or two. That broken action figure doesn’t take up too much space, and letting that one go will earn you points toward potentially more important negotiations (like the dried up modeling clay…). Use these guidelines to get started:
-
Set some ground rules for collections that need to be whittled down. For example, if the pet net is overflowing, have the kids choose one or two animals to keep for every one that they give away. You can cut the collection by a third or even half, and you can get a glimpse of which toys they really, truly treasure.
-
Don’t be (too) sneaky. You can’t help them if you have to run every scrap of art paper by them for approval, but try to let them make most of the calls. It will build trust between you and your children, and they get to put their rationalizing skills to use. Exceptions? If a toy is broken in a way that makes it unsafe, or if it has been recalled. Exercise your veto power here, but explain why, as well.
-
Show them where their new toys will fit into their new, uncluttered space. That plastic sword won’t seem nearly as cool now that there’s space for the brand new magic set.
-
Have them physically help in removing items. From putting things into the bag or box to dropping it off at a charity or in the basement, let them play a role. The more involved they are, the more power and ownership over the process they’ll feel.
-
Make clearing out an annual or semiannual event. Pick a time of year or two—birthdays and the beginning of the year are good—for cleaning out old items and making space for new.
Dress Up a Plain Suit
