As a stepmom of  5 and 8 yr old boys, the advice of praising good behavior is an excellent idea. Our preschooler was very stubborn and trying anything and everything he could to get attention in school, especially BAD attention purposely, so I explained to both boys that from now on I was going to ignore thier whining, tattling, badgering and argueing, wow! This worked right away with the 5yr old, the next day our preschooler was a different child, he wanted to get attention for his good behavior...I also would explain to them when they were well behaved how proud I was of them, and when they  misbehaved I would explain that I was disapointed knowing that they are cappable of better and of course they would go to their room for time out when their behavior was unacceptable. It took alot of patience with our 8yr old, as he is the more sensitive one and would whine, calling out my name over and over while he was in time out, I had to ignore this....I even turned the TV up at first just to make it easier on me, but it really does work great....just got to get through the first few times until they understand the rules.....  thanx

posted on 2/21/2012 11:50:20 PM

I agree with the others. I was hard on my children. I wish that I would have sat back and smelt the roses. It is so much easier to yell or be negative.....focus on the negative. I expected more of my children...had more patience with other peoples kids. Good luck to both young and future parents.

posted on 1/16/2012 9:37:12 PM

Great advice! These stick out as working well when my children were small: When the first temper tandrum occurs merely walk away - no child will play to an empty audience for long - keep rules simple and consistent, easy for the child to understand - if it is wrong it is wrong all the time. Another tip: when a parent arrives home after being away give the children undivided attention for at least 15 minutes. I know there are all those things that need doing but children will get our attention one way or the other. Don't punish a small child for telling the truth. If the child tells the truth when asked if he or she did sometime unappropriate merely explain why it is not good to do this. This works for most kids. Was I the perfect parent? No, but I tried to do the best job I could do in the most important role of my life.

posted on 1/10/2012 10:01:03 PM

I think this is one of the best parenting skills anyone can have. I feel the exact same way I do this everyday in my home. I can't say I am always perfect but I do try my best. I cannot punish my child for something I have taught them by doing it. Instead I sit down and exsplain why this behavior is unexeptable. I praise my children everytime they do good things and try my best to be as patient as possible with them. With a two and a four year old it's not always easy but some how  i manage.

posted on 12/22/2011 1:15:24 AM

As a single parent of an 18yr old son, I found your article very interesting. It is nice to hear that friendly reminder about the positive reinforcement which works great. If anyone asked my advice on parenting, I always tell them to be "Consistent!" I was consistent as possible in all aspects of raising my son and I always let the punishment fit the crime so to speak! lol I can count on one hand how many times my son got the "Proverbial Corpral Punishment" through the years but I also was CONSISTENT with I will tell you once, no second chances with me....he knew! I loathe when I hear parents tell their children "If you do that one more time...." ugh! I actually told my own sister if she told her child that one more time, I was going to spank my sister! lol I just tried to be a good parent to my son and took the good with the bad and now I have a young man graduating high school in May 2012, going into Marine Reserves in June and starting a private christian college when he gets back from boot camp! I couldn't be more proud and I know all that "positive reinforcement" definately helped, but so did him knowing that their are also consequences to bad actions and behaviors! God Bless!

posted on 12/21/2011 6:31:00 PM

this is great advice! we dont stick to great advice as often as we should. i try to get in the habit of reminding myself to be patient, but i can't always remember either. we all do the best we can and thats what truly matters!

posted on 12/20/2011 9:09:44 PM

Actions and consequences have always worked well here...

posted on 12/17/2011 9:59:29 PM

I believe that we can start by teaching our children simple behaviors that will last a liftime.  My neices and nephews are taught as soon as they can talk to address every one as Yes Mam and Yes sir or No Mam or No sir.  This will follow them through life.  what ever happened to Mrs Smith or Mrs jones- everyone is on a first name basis and this is not right when addressing an adult or person of authority. 

posted on 12/16/2011 6:20:55 AM

good advice...hard to stick to sometimes!

posted on 12/14/2011 3:51:58 AM

You sound like an extremely patient and thoughtful person.  You are correct that children need positive reinforcement and like Rebecca said I do wish I'd done this while my child was young.  Now that he's an adult and I'm retired I finally have the patience to practice this.

posted on 12/14/2011 1:02:27 AM

Christa, this is very good sound advice. Unfortunately not very many of us parents will take the time to put this into practice. As a mother of 3 grown adult children, I neither had the patience nor the maturity to apply this when my children were young. I think we need to see more examples like yours actually being used. I know it would have helped me immensly.

posted on 12/14/2011 12:27:20 AM