Kids hear all about sharing from parents and teachers. We tell them to share their toys. Share their snack. Share their seat on the bus. Share a story at circle time. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, including this one. Sharing certain things can be a social blunder…or could even cause them harm. Here are some things they shouldn’t share, even with their current BFF.
Passwords and codes. Many kids know the security code to get into their house. They have a password for Webkinz and another for their e-mail. They get a school password for homework Web sites. And a PIN for their ATM card. Should they share any of these? Never. An e-mail password means others can spread mean messages that seem to come from your kid. Your house’s security code won’t protect against break-ins if the whole world knows it. While some passwords are for things that seem harmless, it’s best for kids to get into the habit of keeping all passwords a secret.
Anything that touches their mouth or head. During cold and flu season, a vaccination can help protect kids from the flu virus. But it can’t do a thing about the common cold, a stomach bug, or head lice. Tell kids to wash their hands often (before eating, after getting home from a public place, after using the bathroom), and make sure they don’t share these items with others (including family members!): cups and utensils, pens and pencils, toothbrushes, and anything you blow into, such as kazoos, recorders, and balloons. Also tell them not to share hairbrushes, hats, pillows, helmets, and anything else that could spread head lice.
Financial information. What do they earn at their summer job? How much do they receive for allowance? This kind of info should be classified—for you and them to know, and no one else to find out. Kids also shouldn’t tell others if they have bank accounts or investments. In fact, it’s not even a good idea to tell what’s in their piggy bank. Even for adults, money is a subject best not discussed. It can lead to hurt feelings…or theft.
Important secrets. Now that we’re grown up, we know that, during school years, friendships can come and go. And when they end, things can turn ugly. If your child doesn’t want the whole school knowing that she flunked math, was adopted, or has an uncle in jail, she shouldn’t tell anyone. Ever. Because when “Best Friends Forever” move on, they just might pass along your secrets, too.
Test and homework answers. There are plenty of times when schools encourage kids to work together to find solutions. But when schoolwork is supposed to be done solo, it’s not called sharing, it’s called cheating, and schools have harsh policies in place for both the person copying and the one providing the answers. If your child really wants to help a friend who’s struggling, suggest that he make time to tutor his friend before test time—not during.
Rumors and negative opinions. William likes Tasia. The science teacher is a meanie. Your neighbor’s dad is out of work. These pieces of information may be true—or maybe not. Even if they are, the information can be hurtful if it gets spread around. Ask your kids how they’d feel if someone was telling lies about them. Then remind them that the best way to avoid helping spread rumors (true or not) is to keep what you overhear to yourself. If they really need to vent, let them know that they can always come to you.
Decadent (yet smart!) desserts
