If you’ve recently noticed a few hairline cracks in your sweet heart’s plaster or a bit of sag about the eaves, then it’s time to strap on the tool belt. Be aware, however, that this job will not just take physical know-how but also those twin cornerstones of craftsmanship: patience and finesse. This is not a project that your man can ever find out about. Don’t ask him for any permits and keep the plans top secret. If he ever discovers that you’re unhappy with his basement and/or are looking at newer construction, we’re all in trouble. Starting from the top:
Roof: If his hair is thinning and he’s trying to cover it up with some creative styling, suggest that he either shave his head entirely or adopt a buzz cut. Tell him bald men are sexy. Offer to be his barber.
Plumbing: If things aren’t as high-powered as they once were, bake cinnamon buns and rub on some pink-grapefruit body lotion. Research shows that the smell of cinnamon buns turns men on most, and the scent of grapefruit magically makes you look 6 years younger to him. We’re not kidding.
Framing: If his back is always popping and feeling creaky, buy him a nice new leather wallet. Most guys’ wallets are 3 or 4 inches thick, so his back problems may be the result of him sitting on it all day. (This pinches the sciatic nerve and misaligns the spine.) A new wallet will encourage him to do an inventory.
Insulation: There are a number of sneaky ways you can help him lose weight. For example, serve meals on smaller plates, dim the lights during dinner, serve chicken soup as an appetizer, and, if possible, slow down the entire eating process. All these things have been shown to help people eat less. Plus, if he’s a sucker for snacks, start buying individually wrapped portions rather than those family-size bags. Sure, they’re more expensive, but they’ll keep him from going elbow deep in the corn chips. This means buying pints of ice cream rather than half-gallons, too.
Exterior: The quickest way to make any old spouse look better is to update the finish. If he’s a bit overweight, buy him a nice black sweater or a few new dress shirts with vertical stripes. Both have a slimming effect.
Furnace: To encourage him to exercise more without coming across as a nag or wasting money on home-gym equipment he’ll use as a clothes rack, make him a wager. Guys love bets of any kind. If you challenge him to get in shape for a 10K and put something creative on the line (an indulgent weekend, a new basketball hoop, yourself!), he’ll be more likely to respond.
that was such a cool statement i agree with all of it
Decadent (yet smart!) desserts
