You have a new family member. Or, at least, it feels that way. It’s your kid’s phone. Your kid doesn’t go anywhere without her phone, and it seems like she spends more time with it than the family. What to do? Set a few ground rules, say parents who’ve been there. Here are their best tips.
Know How the Phone Works
Cell phones continue to add new bells and whistles. It’s tough to keep up. When purchasing the phone, ask the salesperson to walk you through all the operations. You should know where to check call logs and how to tell if texts have been deleted (agree to a “no deleting” rule with your child). Also ask to be shown how to remove the SIM card, which stores all the personal information such as phone numbers of friends.
Parents Have All Passwords
As a condition of allowing your child to have a phone, he needs to understand that at any time you may ask for the phone so you can check texts and call logs. Make it clear that you’re not trying to get “the gossip” or be nosy. But in case of emergency or phone misuse, you need to be able to step in.
Phones Go Nite-Nite
Sort of like how you’d tuck in your kiddo when she was little, now her phone needs to be safe and secure at night—outside of your child’s bedroom. By not allowing a cell phone in the bedroom at night, it removes the temptation to text into the wee hours of the morning. Even if your kid isn’t a chronic texter, maybe her friends are. And constant buzzes and rings through the night aren’t good for sleep.
No Phones at the Dinner Table
With a head bowed at the dinner table, there’s a chance your teen isn’t saying grace. She may be looking at her cell phone and texting away in her lap. To make dinnertime family time, ban cell phones—yours included. Discuss other places where cell phones shouldn’t go (for instance, worship services or family celebrations).
Consider Whether a Phone Is Smart for School
This may be a toughie for some parents, because they appreciate the convenience of kids being able to call if practices change or if there’s an emergency. But the likelihood of those things is slim compared with the distraction and potential trouble phones can generate in a classroom. Plus, some schools have phone-confiscation policies where parents must come in to the office before the phone can be returned. Not so convenient.
Don’t Forget Cell Etiquette
Even though it’s a world of new technology, the need for basic politeness and common sense hasn’t changed. So talk about things like only sharing phones with friends in emergencies and not arguing or spreading gossip through texts. Remind them that they shouldn’t talk about or text about anything they wouldn’t want recorded. You may want to mention that you have veto power over ring tones, too—nothing with inappropriate lyrics and no “mosquito” tones (outside the audible range of hearing for most people over the age of 30).
And let them know that one call they always need to take is one from Mom or Dad.
Dress Up a Plain Suit
