We have a friend whose 50-year-old husband still has all his childhood baseball cards, Hardy Boy books, Matchbox cars, plus a Styrofoam podium with miniature plastic replicas of the U.S. presidents (up until Nixon). Oh, and he also has a 1937 Ford police car (that no longer runs) taking up all the space in the garage. Every spring she threatens to throw everything out, and they have a major fight. If your man’s clutter has you in a similar flutter, here are some ingenious ways to clean house without upsetting your spouse.
Make a quilt out of old T-shirts. Gather 16 of his favorites, wash them (better do that twice), cut 14-square-inch pieces that include the logos, and arrange in rows of 4. With an inch border in between, this will make a 60-square-inch quilt. There are detailed instructions at quiltbug.com/articles/Tshirt-quilts.htm, but if you screw up or aren’t crafty enough, Tshirtquilt.com will fix your mistakes or just make the thing for you.
Save the world with his old shoes. After donning a surgical mask and gloves, gather all the athletic shoes he hasn’t worn since the Reagan years. If they’re still in lightly worn condition, either ship them to Soles4Souls.org or drop them off at one of its collection sites. It’ll distribute them to people in need around the world. In exchange he’ll get a tax receipt and, of course, immense satisfaction when he sees some guy in Haiti wearing his sneaks on CNN. If they’re way beyond wear, recycle them with Nike—they take old athletic shoes and turn them into a material used in creating athletic and playground surfaces. Any Nike store in the US will accept up to 10 pairs at a time (no cleats or spikes). For more info or other drop-off locations, check out nikereuseashoe.com.
Put ticket stubs or collector’s cards in albums. If his are just thrown in a drawer or scattered elsewhere in the house, buy a few photo albums and organize his collection for him. Makes a thoughtful birthday or Father’s Day gift.
Turn his old LPs into art. Guys will never part with their records but even if they no longer play them, they’ll appreciate having the album covers displayed on their office or game-room wall. Sets of 2 record album frames are just $13 at Walmart.com.
Fashion furniture out of beer caps. So why does he save these things? Who knows? When he’s not looking, hot-glue the caps in even rows to the top of a small table. Although it may not be your first choice for the living room, it’ll look great in his man cave.
For everything else he has, get him an eBay account. If there’s one thing men enjoy more than being surrounded by their guy stuff, it’s making money from it. Anybody want a ’37 Ford?
Dress Up a Plain Suit
