Think for a moment about the essential skills you use in everyday life. Waking the family out of hibernation and getting them out the door on time. Making root vegetables appear edible. Sounding sincere when talking to that braggy mom at sports practice. Now how many of these skills did you learn in school? None, right? That underscores why you as a parent need to make sure your kids are getting the real-life education they need in order to be confident, successful, and, most important, independent enough to move out when they’re 18. So teach them how to…
Drive a hard bargain. Everything is negotiable these days, but most young people either are too shy or don’t know where to begin. Here’s the key lesson to pass along about negotiation: Always have a fallback position. In other words, ask for more but be willing to settle for less. The other guy is using the same strategy. Meet in the middle, and everyone’s happy. (Just be prepared when your child tries it on you!)
Budget time. There are plenty of hours in each day; people just don’t know how to use them. The next time your child is facing a big project, do this: Count the days to his deadline, then help him distribute the work evenly among them. For instance, if he has 2 weeks to write a 1,500-word report, that’s just a little more than 100 words per day. This approach instantly makes any daunting task doable.
Face fear. This isn’t about being heroic; it’s about instilling the belief in your kids that they’re stronger than they think. To communicate this, bring back the “double dare.” Remember that from when you were a girl? Double-dare your kids to try a new food, sleep without a nightlight, touch a bug, watch a thunderstorm…. Reserve the “triple-dare” for really big steps.
Be mannerly. A strange twist has occurred in society. Politeness has become so rare that it now disarms people. Expecting the usual rudeness, they don’t know how to react to it. Teach your children to use this to their advantage: Thank people for their opinion before disagreeing; call someone they’re angry with by their first name. To convey these lessons in a fun way, institute “Good Manner Mondays.” Use your best British accent.
Listen. It’s sad how few kids (or adults, for that matter) know how to really do this. But it’s one of the easiest skills on this list to build. Just read to your child as often as possible. The ability to sit and pay attention will transfer to other things.
Be happy. How can you possibly teach this? Easy. Help your child find one thing that she can lose herself in, one thing where the hours pass like minutes. Such timelessness and mindfulness, whether it lies in a hobby, sport, or a good book, represent peace, contentment, and, yes, happiness. Give her a taste of it.
Dress Up a Plain Suit
