As a grown adult that due to finances and illness had to move back in with my parents;  I saw no reason not to split evenly mortgage,electric,water,telephone etc.  We weren't expected to pay on the property taxes or specialty items that my parents added in for their personal pleasure .  Ditto for us.  Food was 50/50; as was gas.  Of course the household  duties such as cooking, cleaning, laundry etc was shared by us all.  My parents had already raised me once, it wasn't their duty to do so again.To the people that didn't like paying rent to their parents I say....Grow up.  You would pay to live somewhere else.  Why should they not receive some on rent.  Or why should they be expected to hold onto that money and give it to you at a later date.  WOULD ANY OTHER LANDLORD?  Come on people get real.  Once your grown, your parents aren't responsible for you or your bills!!  And if you actually stop visiting or speaking to them due to rent or money being asked for.  That in my book just shows that you have a faulty character flaw.

By Erika on 11/3/2009

My daughter has moved back in with me after a divorce. I'm a widow, she is my only child and she has no children. At first it was going to be for a short time, till she got back on her feet. She had no job and my income was enough to take care of us both for a while. She didn't even have a car for a while so I made mine available to her. She did finally get a good job and was able to buy a car, paid cash so no car payments. She and I split everything as far as the utilities and rent go. She refers to both our incomes as "house money"... just meaning that we share everything. If one of us has a need it is taken care of, no matter whose purse it has to come from. It works well for us to remain together, sharing all income and all expenses. It has made it a lot easier on both of us... we can both afford things together that we may not have been able to have if we were on our own. It's not always easy but it is always worth it. And we have the pleasure of each others company. We are still a family... living alone was a little lonely sometimes before she came back home. We don't refer to it as 'I live with my Mom' or 'I live with my daughter'. We are lucky enough to get to live together.

By Linda on 11/4/2009

I think it may be easier and less stressful to trade adult children and let someone elses' kid move "back home" into the house.  My large but apparently not grown kids have reverted to toddlerhood, except that they drink.  Yikes.

By Eleanor on 11/6/2009

Wow, this could not ave come at a more appropriet time. My husband and I have 3 girls, 18, 17 and 15. These are my step daughters. I was raised with semi- stict parents but very loving. When I got pregnant at 22, I cold otafford to raise my child onmy own. I did ask my parents if I could move back in with them. We all sat down and drew up a contract. This included what I was responsible for and what they would help with. I was paying 350 a month in rent (that included food they bought, electric,water, etc.) I alo had to pay 50a week in day care for my mother to watch my daughter. I was still resonsible for my car insurance/payment and everything else that I wanted. It was very dfficult even back when I was bringing home close to 4K a month. I lived this way for almost 4 years when I lost my daughter to caner. I decidd that I cold make it on my own then.I am 33 now and I feel that my parents did the right thing for me. It made me responsible and taught me to budget my money very closey. Our oldest is engaged and her and her fiance have been staying with us now for 3 months. This is the 2nd time around since our oldest moved out on her own at 17. These 2 party every night and don't clean up after themselve. I personally have told my husband I feel they need to move out of our home ecause they don't respet us or the home and he feels that they should be able to live here and not contribute anything. This is causing great strain on our relationship. We have been togehter for 6 years now and it is rough. Our middle one (17) does nothing around the house. She is not in school right now because of medical issues but they are not bad enough that she could nt do dishes or something. This infuriates the h**L out of me and I cannot get her father to do anything about it. We live in MO where at 17 they concider you an adult. I have told my husband that he needs to have "Tough Love" with these two andlet them see how the real world is since they think tat we were put on this earth to be their slaves. The 15 year old lives with her mother and her mother's fiance. Their mother refuses to let them live with her. She ha told us point blank they are not allowed to live in her house period. So, I feel that paying rent, doing chores, being responsible for bills that are theirs, cleaning up fter themselves, an so forth is a great way to help your children be productive individuals in todays society and not be a pimple on the world's behind. TRUST ME! Letting your hildren just free load will not be helping them mature into productive adults. However if you make them be responsible for themselves and their things, they might just make it in the world.BTW, I have not had to move in with anyone since moving out of my parents home when I was 25. I have maintaind my own apartment until the day I moved in with my husband.This is jus my personal opinion from my own personal experience being in both situations.

By Denisa on 11/9/2009

• Erika said:

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  As a grown adult that due to finances and illness had to move back in with my parents;  I saw no reason not to split evenly mortgage,electric,water,telephone etc.  We werent expected to pay on the property taxes or specialty items that my parents added in for their personal pleasure .  Ditto for us.  Food was 50/50; as was gas.  Of course the household  duties such as cooking, cleaning, laundry etc was shared by us all.  My parents had already raised me once, it wasnt their duty to do so again.To the people that didnt like paying rent to their parents I say....Grow up.  You would pay to live somewhere else.  Why should they not receive some on rent.  Or why should they be expected to hold onto that money and give it to you at a later date.  WOULD ANY OTHER LANDLORD?  Come on people get real.  Once your grown, your parents arent responsible for you or your bills!!  And if you actually stop visiting or speaking to them due to rent or money being asked for.  That in my book just shows that you have a faulty character flaw.

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By Denisa on 11/9/2009

I live with my husband ,older son,his girlfriend and 2 kids. And my sons girlfriends sister and daughter. W all share the rent and bills. My younger sin,his wife and son lived with us before. But they moved out to live with her brother,but now they live with her parents. Me and my husband so not have good credit so it is going to be hard to get our own place alone. The grandkids are nice to have around but sometimes we want to be left alone.

By Cheryl on 11/10/2009

Are you kidding me? Family is family, you help each other, that's your duty and NO rent should be charged! I am European so "the 18 and you are out of the door", thing just bothers me. Our children can stay as long as they want to, my DH and I are actually joking we will build three houses around ours so they will be right next to us. You don't just "pop" them out and then push them out into the world to fend for themselves. 

By Vlasta on 11/11/2009

Vlasta, i would agree with yourself entirely.Family is family as you mentioned.Our son lives with ourselves and is adult.I suppose alot of others have these issues of kick them out of the house asap,charge them rent as though charging rent were to actually be teaching themselves any lesson in life,they were to not have learned had the rent not been charged.Alot of these situations most likely were created due to the breakdown of the American family?these thoughts are not stereotype but merely observations
Parents become ill, nobody wants to take care of them,visit them,etc, so ship them off to the old folks home, can't wait till they croak over to grab whatever cash them still own. selfishness among some.The issue of paying for this or paying for that is merely another method to remove oneself from the family setting. Many may disagree,that is fine,but many may look deep within themselves and realize how true this has become in society.As for our son, he could stay as long as he wishes, can even get married and bring along his spouse,cause we could care less if one or two more sit at the dinner table or not, the added costs are minimual from the standpoint of percentage of expenses being spent too.As for maturity, it all starts at home, you teach respect, you get back respect. you teach accountability,you get back accountability and maturity generally follows that is how it is.

By pat on Tuesday