The other night we were at a dinner party with a middle-aged couple who—get this—called each other “Pookie” and “Schmoopy” the entire evening.
“Schmoopy, could you pass the vinaigrette?”
“Why certainly, Pookie.”
“Schmoopy, would you like a touch more zinfandel?”
“I’d love some, Pookie.”
And so on. If Pepto-Bismol were on the dessert menu, everyone else at the table would have ordered doubles.
You’ve probably had similar experiences with grown men and women calling each other Cupcake, Sweet Cheeks, or some other sugary nickname in public. But rather than being annoyed the next time it happens, maybe we should all pay more attention. A recent study found that couples using so-called “insider language” enjoy a higher degree of satisfaction in their relationship. It seems that terms of endearment really do endear us to each other. And as hard as it may be to stomach, Pookie and Schmoopy are probably pretty happy. To take advantage in your own relationship, here’s what experts suggest.
Get more creative. Chances are, you already have affectionate nicknames for each other. Darling, Baby, and Honey are a good place to start, but there’s always room to branch out. One of the reasons why pet names strengthen relationships (according to the researchers) is because they make the two of you feel like you’re in an exclusive club or sharing a private joke. So Stud Muffin, Indiana, and Honey Money are all fair game.
Keep it positive. Stick to nicknames that are playful, not hurtful or teasing. The aim is to conjure up pleasant experiences you shared, not embarrassing ones. So Pooh Bear only works if it refers to his cuddliness.
Go public. Don’t be afraid to use your pet names outside the home. Just don’t get all schmoopy. Speak softly and privately—which makes it all the more exciting.
Use ’em to get what you want. Pet names can be used in sneaky ways, too. For instance, if your guy is trying to get back in shape, calling him Iron Buns or Muscles will encourage him to stick with it. And sometimes, using a funny nickname in the middle of an argument can help diffuse the situation.
Make up your own language. Don’t forget about code words that only the two of you can decipher. When it’s time to split from the party, you might say something like: “I’ve had it with Hollywood.” When you’re “in the mood,” some couples might say: “Want to help me change the sheets?” Have fun creating your own terms.
Comments from Members
We dont have special pet names for each other but sometimes I wonder if my husband even remembers my name. LOL. He always calls me honey or babe!
smoochies...is what i call hubbie
My hubby calls me Hon, and it's sooo funny because my 23 month old is now calling me Hon in the stores and of course I have to be mom and say, no, it's mom, not hon with a straight face. Yes that is a short name for Honey.
I have been dating together with my Husband since 2001 and married now for almost 4 years. Ever since I can remeber we call each other babe. So use to using this term it feels weird to me when I do call him by his name which is rare. But now our 23 mth old daughter has caught on and on occassion giggles and calls her daddy babe...
My pet name for my husband is, Love, because simply that is what he is to me
my MIL caught on and called me "Gumman" which is the Swedish word for honey that my hubby calls me. I just laughed haha
I love this post and topic!!! Start laughing now because my Hubbie gets called everything. Oh, and he calls me everything too!!! I LOVE IT!!! Honey bear, Muffin Love, Cuddle bug, they go on and on!!!
I call my hubby my "booby prize" shortened to booby and I am his "booby doll" for 32 years and counting.
I call my hubby babers and I'm his babe.
My husband never calls me by love names, but my mothers name is Brenda and he thinks I am alot like her so he calls me "big B" I call him "G" which is the initial of his first name, my niece started calling him G or Geepers all the time! so he started calling her Gomer, and the list goes on...
My husband calls me Meshi--- he says it means my she or that i am his... I call him honeybear and he just easts it up...even on the days when he is more of a bear than a honey.lol
I allways use to call my husband sweet cheeks, until we had kids 11 years latter, now we have kids , hia name is allways DAD now. We have been married 20 years on the 4th of july in 2010. And very happy...By Cindy on 9/10/09
I wish my husband had a nickname for me. He allways says, HEY! What a nickname uh... I am hopind he reads this comment,. Really!! Not just MOM!......But non the less I still LOVE him!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend of 10 years has always called me lady and I call him sexy. We also have certain terms that we use to refer to sex.
My husband calls me Dare for a favorite nickname, I call him several nicknames, like BB which stands for Baby Buddy, Lovie Dovie, or just lovie and sometimes call him babe, or sweety, I have a few others that are really strange that I made up too, sometimes call him Hus short for Husband
I am darlin or pookie to my husband and he is stud muffin or lover to me.. We have a few other names for eachother, but the aren't used very as often. Haha I called him pookie once at the fire department where he use to volunteer and now every one there calls him poo or pooh bear. He wasn't too happy about that one.
We are the Bean family. I started calling my husband bean and now he calls me bean. Our secret code for making love is "poke" but that is top secret!
I'm not marry, but I have a pet name for the ones I have been part of my life is my love one
My husband and I call each other Dear. He doesn't hear me if I call him by his name even if I am shouting, but he can hear anyone else call him by his name. I love it!!! Married for 18 years and counting.
HI , MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY ON AUG 25TH 09 ,WE WERE MARRIED 28YRS MY PET NAME FOR HIM WAS( STUD MUFFIN) AND HE CALLED ME( MOM) WE WERE SO IN LOVE AND I MISS HIM SO VERY MUCH, LAURA
