• Cheryl said:

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  • Jody said:

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    I have a 13 year old daughter and Ive tried to talk about sex with her.  She just turns into a puddle and gets away from me as fast as she can.  Shes not shy about talking otherwise.  We joke about having a period (hate it!), weve talked about nicotine (Im an ex-smoker, so I know the evils) and drugs (just say no, she gets it)....should I be worried, or is this just a tough age.On the other hand, I have an 9 year old daughter who asks anything and everything!

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  I think 13 is a very awkward age to talk to your mother about sex.  It is such a personal topic and at that age you are beginning to realize the conversation is about YOU.   Your 9 year old isnt identifying with it yet, so shes just gathering objective information.    Does your 13 year old have any trusted adult that she can talk to about sex?   My children have a wonderful after-school sitter who shares my values about just about everything, so when they open up to her,  I know theyre getting good advice.   Your daughter may feel less embarrassed with someone else for the next few years.

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My friend is a doctor and she tells me that parents ask her to talk to their children about sex.  She asks things like what do you know or what do your friends tell you.  I think that is important because there are always those friends that think they know what they are talking about.....lol   But, hang in there you are a good mom even trying to talk about it.  Some parents don't even try, she knows you love her

By SHARON on 10/30/2009

I'm 22 and I don't have kids but I do have two younger sisters, 13 and 12. I know that they are at that awkward stage where they need to know certain things about themselves and life. I really feel like this is a role that I can fill for them. I love them more than anything in the world and worry about them just as much as our mother does ha. I think they'd be more open and comfortable if I talked with them about these things as their sister instead of our mom. I don't want to step over any boundaries though. Is this a good idea?

By Jordan on 10/30/2009

My children have always known that they could come to me anytime day r night to talk to me or ask me anyting at all. I have always told them that. And it works!!! My kids have asked me questions about everything that life has to offer and I am thankful that they do come and ask. Always give them the right answer and always use the right tone. Don't be surprised at what they ask; just answer any questions they have honestly.

By ROBIN on 10/31/2009

Since my kids were very little and able to understand me I have always had an open HONEST realtionship with them .They have always known they could come to me with ANY problem or issue, whether it be good or bad. Because of this my kids, now 18 and 21, and I are very close. We don't lie to each other and our relationship continues to get stronger everyday! They know I don't lie to them and therefore they are honest with me, no matter what the consequences. I may not always liek the topic of conversation but I listen. I believe this has helped them to become better adults. They have shared with me that their friends are envious of their relationship with me and my 18 year olds daughters friends ask her or I for advice on how to talk with their mom. It has made her a stronger person and one who is very well liked by her peers. They know she will listen and be honest when asked a question. We all believe honesty is the best policy. I am thankful for my children because I too have learned so many things from them.Mimi, New Port Richey Fl

By Mimi on 11/3/2009

• SHARON said:

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  • Cheryl said:

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    • Jody said:

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      I have a 13 year old daughter and Ive tried to talk about sex with her.  She just turns into a puddle and gets away from me as fast as she can.  Shes not shy about talking otherwise.  We joke about having a period (hate it!), weve talked about nicotine (Im an ex-smoker, so I know the evils) and drugs (just say no, she gets it)....should I be worried, or is this just a tough age.On the other hand, I have an 9 year old daughter who asks anything and everything!

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    I think 13 is a very awkward age to talk to your mother about sex.  It is such a personal topic and at that age you are beginning to realize the conversation is about YOU.   Your 9 year old isnt identifying with it yet, so shes just gathering objective information.    Does your 13 year old have any trusted adult that she can talk to about sex?   My children have a wonderful after-school sitter who shares my values about just about everything, so when they open up to her,  I know theyre getting good advice.   Your daughter may feel less embarrassed with someone else for the next few years.

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  My friend is a doctor and she tells me that parents ask her to talk to their children about sex.  She asks things like what do you know or what do your friends tell you.  I think that is important because there are always those friends that think they know what they are talking about.....lol   But, hang in there you are a good mom even trying to talk about it.  Some parents dont even try, she knows you love her

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         Just the fact that you are taking the time to talk with your daughter is commendable. Not many moms do that any longer.  have always talked openly and honestly with my now 18 year old. She has asked some pretty tough questions but by my being honest and factual with my answers she has learned a new respect for me as well as I have her. Stay true to each other and continue listening and being honest with her and you will find your realtionship gettin stronger by the day! Good luck! It does get better. Mimi

By Mimi on 11/3/2009

• Jordan said:

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  Im 22 and I dont have kids but I do have two younger sisters, 13 and 12. I know that they are at that awkward stage where they need to know certain things about themselves and life. I really feel like this is a role that I can fill for them. I love them more than anything in the world and worry about them just as much as our mother does ha. I think theyd be more open and comfortable if I talked with them about these things as their sister instead of our mom. I dont want to step over any boundaries though. Is this a good idea?

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          I believe communication is the key. Go to your mom and ask her if she would be ok with you talking with your sisters. Then if she is ok wth it, let your sisters know you are here for them .Be sure to relay that what you discuss with them will stay between you. We all need someone to talk to and trust. Remember you were there not too long ago! Be open and honest with them, don't get angry oif they tell you things you may not want to hear; be supportive. You will find your relationship growing and also that haveing soeone there is a blessing for you ALL! Good Luck!Mimi

By Mimi on 11/3/2009

The easiest way i found to talk with my four year old daughter is face to face. and always honestly...of course if she dose not ask there are things i wont tell her till she dose. after all..i dont need her to be talking with her little four year old friends at school about sex. . I always think that being truthful to her and not treating her like a baby . Talking to her young is helping us build a relationship of talks to come..when she is ready i will be there.  And though i hope for it , we dont have to be best friends... but i want her to know she can trust me with her feelings.

By Christine on 11/5/2009

I always set a side time everyday to talk with both of my daughters, and they always tell me whats on their minds.

By Lora on 11/10/2009

I do not have kids, but I have many nieces and nephew that I pray for daily, for protection and guidance.

By Debra on 11/10/2009

My kids tell me they have something important to tell me ! no matter what i am doin i stop and listen we get along wonderfully

By Denise on 11/10/2009

To get your kids to talk to you you have to be a good listener and be nonjudgemental.  There are times to teach and there are times to listen.  I give my opinion or suggestion when they ask.  If I think I need to give my input I ask them what they think or what would they do.  I put them in charge of the conversation.  To get them to start talking I do things with them they enjoy like baking or out for one of their favorite treats.

By Virginia on 11/13/2009

I have found that bedtime is the best time to talk to my kiddos - they don't want to go to bed and they will do anything to stall -including talking to me : )  I recently was able to have a great conversation with my 12 year old son while I was driving him home from an appt. which was about an hour away from home - he didn't have anything else to do or anywhere else to be and he couldn't escape : )  It was probably the best conversation we have ever had!

By Brenda on 11/13/2009

• SHARON said:

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  • Cheryl said:

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    • Jody said:

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      I have a 13 year old daughter and Ive tried to talk about sex with her.  She just turns into a puddle and gets away from me as fast as she can.  Shes not shy about talking otherwise.  We joke about having a period (hate it!), weve talked about nicotine (Im an ex-smoker, so I know the evils) and drugs (just say no, she gets it)....should I be worried, or is this just a tough age.On the other hand, I have an 9 year old daughter who asks anything and everything!

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    I think 13 is a very awkward age to talk to your mother about sex.  It is such a personal topic and at that age you are beginning to realize the conversation is about YOU.   Your 9 year old isnt identifying with it yet, so shes just gathering objective information.    Does your 13 year old have any trusted adult that she can talk to about sex?   My children have a wonderful after-school sitter who shares my values about just about everything, so when they open up to her,  I know theyre getting good advice.   Your daughter may feel less embarrassed with someone else for the next few years.

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  My friend is a doctor and she tells me that parents ask her to talk to their children about sex.  She asks things like what do you know or what do your friends tell you.  I think that is important because there are always those friends that think they know what they are talking about.....lol   But, hang in there you are a good mom even trying to talk about it.  Some parents dont even try, she knows you love her

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My daughter is now 17. I remember when she was younger she also was embarrased to talk about sex. She'd say"Mom!  Ewwww...do we really have to talk about this? That's so gross!" I'd give her the information I thought she needed at the time, sometimes in small doses. But I always ended the conversation with the fact that if she ever had any questions or if she heard things from other people that she could (and should)  come to me to see if the information was correct. I told her that she would hear many things outside of our home, some being true and some not true. I let her know that she should never be embarrased to talk to me about anything, even it may be a little uncomfortable for either of us, because I love her and nothing will ever change that. As I said, she is 17 now, and finds is much easier to talk to me about almost anything. We have lots of mother/daughter talks, and I'm grateful she knows she can confide in me and that she can depend on me. The fact that you are opening doors to talk to your daughter shows her that you are interested in her, and that you care about her. It will get easier as time goes by for her to open up more and you'll find that she'll start coming to you and starting the very conversations you are trying to have now!

By Linda on Sunday

I was raised by a mother and father that to this day we can talk about ANYTHING and now I have 3 wonderful young ladies all in college and all becoming very open, dependable and successful adults.  The one thing I wanted to provide them was the comfort of being able to ask questions and not get the run around when it came to any subject.  We have discussed every topic possible from drugs, religion, sex, personal responsibility, politics, college and careers to name a few over the years and I have loved being able to be so close to them.  I know that their kids will more than likely have the benefit of open conversations with them also, my girls often say that they feel bad for some of their friends who's parents just can't communicate with them.

By Treshia on Sunday

I have a 10 yr old daughter and we have always been rel close, but here lately its getting real hard to talk to her..She tells me i need to grow up, so im thinking shes probably right. What should i do ? please help

By Angelia on Monday

My kids open up to me when I don't pressure them too.  Our family loves to talk at the dinner table.

By Rachel on Monday

I have two boys - 12 and 7.  I started talking with them before they were born.  Now we talk about everything.  Conversation between us is just natural.  Some of the best times are at any mealtime - esp. at night when we as a family really have time to just sit and talk while enjoying our meal together.  We also take family walks and this is a great time to talk about everything.  I think if you start talking with your children when they are young it makes it a natural part of life for them to talk with you when they are older.  I have always talked with them about their expectations and dreams for their life.  I also talk with them openly about disappointments and challenges they may be facing.  When they need advice I offer it but sometimes they simply want someone to listen.  When my oldest child discussed problems or challenges that he may be facing or issues with friends I really try to watch my tone and my facial expressions - sometimes we can stop the flow of conversation by the way we react.   The most important aspect of my relationship with my children and my husband is our faith and belief in God.  We let our children know that with God all things are possible!  

By Jamie on Monday

I have three boys now 20,26,28 and I had decided when they were young I'll get into whatever they are into! So I watched many hours of wrestling , long ballgames but we talked and they opened up.Now they tell me things about very personal subjects and sometimes I'd like to block my ears but I listen and try to give them advance if warranted.I wouldn't change my approach. 

By Debra on Wednesday

I talk with my kids pretty often.At first they was nervouse talking to me about friends,then they finally decided to open up and they said it made them feeel a whole lot better!

By Lisa on Wednesday