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I Talk With My Kids. Do You?
How do you get your kid's to open up and talk to you? |
We talk in the car. Somehow when I'm not face to face, the dialog flows a little easier. It works well at night time at bedtime too. Somehow the darkness of the room lends itself to easier talking.
I have always had an open relationship with my boys so they could come to me and talk about everything. My youngest 15 still gives me hugs and kisses before ever leaving the car or house and doesn't matter who is around. My 25 year old comes over at least once a week to let me in on what is going on in his life and calls for advice as well as my 21 year old. I think giving them freedom gives them trust and they know they can trust in me whether right or wrong.
Hello,I talk to my children about everything. Sex, drugs, driving responsibilities, thier future, what a young man and a young woman should be in grown up intimate relationships and what they should not be. I tell the things they need to if such and such ever were to happen. Of course we have our everyday talks about thier lives, thier days, thier questions. Sometimes I've been told I am too open and honest with my kids but I don't think you can be. Certainly the topics discussed have changed through the years as they have grown.
I have a 13 year old daughter and I've tried to talk about sex with her. She just turns into a puddle and gets away from me as fast as she can. She's not shy about talking otherwise. We joke about having a period (hate it!), we've talked about nicotine (I'm an ex-smoker, so I know the evils) and drugs (just say no, she gets it)....should I be worried, or is this just a tough age.On the other hand, I have an 9 year old daughter who asks anything and everything!
I have always told my daughter to let me know if there's something that she wants to talk to me about. If there is we go to a quiet place where just she and I can talk. She may cry, we cry together. She may laugh, we laugh together. I have a relationship with my daughter that I always wished my mom would have had with me. There'll be times when she'll ask for a mommy and me day. That started when my Husband was going to school. We'd go out together to have a dinner and maybe shopping. Communication is essential in todays youth. I believe in it.
I have 4 girls and we talk to each other about boys and their dreams, likes, dislikes, family, issues. I love to get their ideas and realize they are pretty insightful and smart about what they want. I hope the dialogue with them continues.
My daughter has always been VERY reticent and after years of trying to initiate conversation with her, I have realised that it's best to just leave her alone and let her come to me when she wants to talk. Of course, she tends to want to talk when I am terribly preoccupied but I take the line that she will only be a child for a very very short space of time and I remember reading a quote once about deciding to live one's life based on whether the inbox is empty or whether your loved ones know how much you life them and value them above all else - I have taken that to heart.
when they were young in the car conversations were great...also, ask open ended questions, that way you do not get yes or no answers.
My daughter is 18 now, and we have always had a very open relationship. She has always talked to me about everything. She even had her friends talk to me about personal things when they couldn't talk to their own parents.
My kids are so different in ages I have had to be real creative getting them to talk, because none of them are the same. My oldest, 17 girl, we usually talk while I am doing dishes. My 12 year old boy is getting harder to talk to lately, so I usually like to take him up town with me alone and he will talk a little better just one on one. My 7 year old daughter, is easy to talk to. All I have to do for her is sit and play barbies or Polly Pocket and she talks up a storm about everything. My baby, 5 boy, cuddles with me in the chair and I will ask him different little questions. Dinner time is the time we all sit and chat up a storm.
I have two teenage boys and we have a good, open relationship. We talk about everything, like things they see on television, movies, and just things happening in their lives. They have no problems asking me to explain something they've seen or heard and I always give them the most honest, complete answer I can. One of the easier times I've found to talk is when we all go outside and play basketball or some other sport. They seem to really open up more while playing.
My 13yo son and I have a good relationship, but he is more likely to talk with his dad about things that are important to him. I think that is a good thing since he is getting his male identity from his dad; however, the best way for me to bond with him and see what's going on with him is to take him on a date. We'll go play laser tag or go out to eat without his younger brothers and dad. Sometimes, we'll go see a movie together and have ice cream afterwards. He seems to relax and feels less awkward about being seen with mom!
When my daughter was in preschool she wouldn't tell me about her day. When I talked to her via a puppet, she told the puppet all about it!
As I brought up both of my daughter right from the start, I said to myself... My parents were brought up not to be open about anything from menstral cycle to not enough money because not our business etc... I absolutely am open and honest with my children but to a point where I do not or did not want them to wrry but did not want them hanging in any situation with questions of why? So we have nightly sit on moms bed B4 going to bed and spill the beans and ok its time to have a family Discussion! All works great! Just do it right from the start you wouldn't beleive how smart and how they understand things even better than most adults. Christina
When we are hiking or doing a project together he just starts random conversations and I learn a lot about how he thinks and is processing things.
I do talk to my friends and relatives about everything I need to.
Ich habe immer mit meinen Kindern gesprochen. Nun haben sie selber eine Familie. Mein aelterst Son ist schon tot, Er war inBerlingeboren. Meine Tochter wohnt hier in Austin und kommt oft rueber. Mein juenger Sohn wohnt mal hir und dort. Ich bin jetzt75 Jahre. Tschuess, Veronika
They need their space and when they are ready, they usually come around asking for that advice that you are willing to give. Don't push but listen alot.
My 21 year old daughter just took me to dinner with my 12 year old son. These are the times that we just sit and talk of everything and anything. I have always had a good relationship with my children. They trust me and i trust them. I have always been there for them and they have always been there for me. There has never been a father in the picture for my oldest son to get advice from but advice from his mom was never far from reach. He has always asked me for advice and i always responded the best way i could. I could never ask for a better son. Communication has always been important in our family. So breakfast, lunch and dinners at the table are very important. For those of you who don't have or make the time for eating at the table try it you'll know what i mean.
My four kids have always talked with me about what's on their minds. I don't pretend to believe they've told me every little thing, but I think the biggest key to their communication is that I never made a point of having a "talk" on my time about the subject I want. If I had something to tell them, I did. However, if they wanted to have a conversation they knew I would stop what I was doing and take part. We didn't do the "drug talk," the "sex talk," or the "alcohol and tobacco talk." Things came up in the natural flow. They listend and I listened. We both learned. I was very lucky to have four kids, now adults, who conversed easily. It was a pleasure for me to talk with them, not to them.
We've lived away from family most of the times so my husband, sons and I are close. My oldest is in Afghanistan and sometimes he tells me things that worry a mother more but he's so use to telling me things he thinks nothing of it.
It is really hard with my second child. my first son continues to this day toshare almost everything with me and he is 19, in college and of course exploring different adventures in life. he even shares that which he knows i may not approve of...because we have an open/honest relationship. ?He has found that being up front has always worked best...not always how he wanted, but the best way in the end. Son #2, is 17, and a HS senior. He is very secretive, feels i am always prying, but is starting to open up a little as he wants to borrow my car or go somewhere with friends i must have certain info...even if i don't like it...and he hasn't lost out on anything yet either!
my daughter and I float in our little blow up pool in the backyard and talk about "things." We watch "American Teenager" or whatever it is called and talk about how we would handle those situations. So far, it seems, she tells me most of what she is thinking.
i HAVE A 16 YEAR OLD SON , AN ONLY CHILD THAT GETS ALOT OF MY ATTENTION, SOMETIMES HE WILL NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS ESPECIALLY SCHOOL BUT I ALWAYS ASK ANYWAY, I TRY TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT HE IS INTERESTED IN AND I INVITE HIS FRIENDS PLACES WITH US I AM HIS FRIEND ON MY SPACE AND SUCH PLACES AND ITS COOL THIS WAY I KEEP UP WITH ALL THAT ALSO I WILL HAVE HIM TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY XBOX GAMES AND THAT AND HE ENJOYS THAT AND I DO TOO WE GET TO TALKING ABOUT LOTS OF EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE.
I think that for me...it was that I have talked with my children about everything since they were old enough to talk back about it. I really believe the earlier you start talking with your kids, the better. When you start discussing important issues with them at a very early age, then it isn't weird or awkward for them, because they have always talked to you about these kinds of things.
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