Ever go into your child’s room to wake him for school and come up empty—is that something moving beneath the pile of clothes? Or maybe you can’t even make it past the door because of the obstacle course of toys, CDs, and shoes. Time to fight the classic battle. “Clean your room, or else!” But we always wonder if there’s another way…so from the homes of children with bedrooms you can actually walk through, here are a few ideas to try.
Define “clean.” Kids and adults can have quite a different definition of “clean.” Your child may think it simply means nothing on the bedroom floor. But then mounds of clothing still litter the closet floor or a mass of shoved toys peeks out from under the bed.
Set priorities. Maybe your child’s desk has to be clean. No food or dishes in the room. Those are fairly easy to explain why it needs to be that way. But if every CD isn’t in place, that might be as good as it gets.
Make it social. Especially to little kids, cleaning a room all by themselves can seem like isolation. It might work to make a pact: You’ll help her clean her room if she helps you with another area of the house.
Schedule it. Some kids do better with routine. So try out different days and times to see which seems to work the best. Or carve out 15 minutes each day for quick tidy-up time. If everyone in the family has the same cleanup time, try making it into an event—put music on throughout the house during the great cleanup and plan something special for after.
Consider the barriers. Maybe there’s way too much stuff in your child’s room for them to even get it all organized or at least put away. In that case, try to convince your child to contribute to a family yard sale. You can split the profits or pool the money toward a family reward.
Put it in terms of what matters to them. If there’s nowhere for friends to sit, they can’t come over.
Put them in charge of laundry. One of the most common violations is throwing dirty (or worse, clean!) clothes on the floor. If your child is old enough, hand over laundry responsibility—it might help put things in perspective. If they’re not ready for the task, let them know that only laundry in the basket gets washed.
Try a creative approach. To really get your kid’s attention, take a spare laundry basket or some bags and stuff inside all the random belongings on your child’s bedroom floor. Then leave a note that says something like: “Your clothes have been kidnapped. You were given two warnings and failed to heed them. Now you have to pay! Come to me to negotiate your ransom.” The negotiation means she does something extra that compensates for the mess making—like washing the car or mopping the floor.
Comments from Members
My daughter is almost 16, her room has a door, as long as it doesn't stink or pose a health hazard (or fire hazard) I don't care how she lives in her room. I figure she is almost as picky as I can be so she won't live too badly.
I like the idea of the family time 15 minute cleanup. I prefer to tidy up in small bursts rather than in one sitting - and having a fun reward couldn't hurt either :)
When I was growing up we were always told "you get it out, dirty it, whatever....you clean it up". That's how I do things around my house and it's always seemed to work.
My 6 yearold has always done well at picking up. My husband and I are always picking up our stuff, so I guess she has seen us as role models. Even when she doesn't want to, we just count to 3 and either she has started or the toy of the day goes right out to the dump bin for garbage collectors and it doesn't come back in. She knows when we mean business, otherwise she does quite well on her own.
Great tips for keeping the home clean and peace between parents and children.
My 3 kids (8,8,7) don't do too bad with the room itself - it's their closets that are nightmares! As long as they have clean, decent clothes to wear in public with me I let it go. They'll be trying to impress boys/girls soon enough. They'll care about their laundry then!
My son is only 4 so I dont make him clean his room alone. But he does know that he has to help clean! He is pretty good at getting a few things otut at a time.
My daughter is 12 going on 18 and my husband and I are struggling with her and all of the clothes everywhere. I think she's pretty typical though for her age.
I have a 17 girl and 13 year old boy....My son is actually neater than my daughter. My girl at times will have clothes all over. Most of the time just close your room door. We usually wait until the weekend for the mandatory clean up. Sometimes just not worth the hassle of everyday upkeep. As long as it is spic and span on the weekends I really don't care. I am not living in it.
My 8 year old grandaughter is just like her mother was at 13. I remember doing the same thing when i was that age, trying on everything in the closet before school, and leaving it out or on the floor. My daughter has to stay onto Makayla about cleaning her room. I suggested to tell her exactly what she means by "cleaning the room', just clarify what needs to be done. Makayla looks at cleaning her room as an all day project, when most of the time all she needs to do is hang her clothes back up. I hope this helps her because it is a constant battle for most girls. 
I wish I could get my daughter to help clean up. Her dad doesn't pick up after himself or ever help clean up, so she thinks she doesn't have to either. So far the only thing that has worked is a garbage bag waiting for anything that isn't off the floor after a set period of time. I hate to do that but that is all that works.
Our 4 boys must pick up their rooms each morning and night - keeps it clean and much less time to clean up on Saturdays! We help them with an index card of what they need to do:Turn off lights - Clothes in laundry basket or dresser drawers - toys picked up off the floor, etc.On weekends - we strip beds, take laundry to laundry room - fold clothes (yes - all 4 boys fold their own clothes) straighten up - make bed and put clean clothes away. On any given day, clean up/pick up time should take less than 10 minutes (if they don't have a complete disaster on their hands). On Saturdays it should only take about 30 minutes or not much more to complete tasks - no long drawn out process - but LOTS of reminders and encouragement are needed. I've found that the 4x6 index cards with each item detailed helps the most. They know EXACTLY what they should be doing. The index cards (daily and Saturday - 2 cards) are tacked next to the light switch as they leave their room. No reason to leave a room a mess!Lane
I find that doing laundry on Friday night is great. Saturday morning they get to watch cartoons while they fold their laundry. In between commercials they go and put their clothes in their rooms. By the time they are ready to go and play outside they have done their biggest chore of all.
My kids are older now but I did make them clean their rooms at least once a week. Now that they are older I really miss the messy rooms and them too. My grandaughter always cleans up her mess when she comes though. Both my children are clean now since they are out on their own.
My daughter is 17, and her room has been a battle since she was around 10. I have tried everything from ignoring it, battling about it, and all sorts of things in between. Her biggest problem is that she never wants to get rid of anything. She will have clothes that she has not worn in over a year, does not fit her, and she just does not want to give it up. It is not just clothes, she is the same way with books, old schoolwork, and stuffed animals. It would not be such a big deal, if her room was the size of our entire apartment. Suddenly, out of nowhere she started cleaning her room. She did not give anything up, she just put things in containers. I was baffled until I found out she had a boyfriend. He now comes over occassionally to watch movies or do homework, and has to go past her room to use the bathroom. I guess she just needed to have a reason that was important to her, to get the job done.
Great artical. I will have to try some of those ideas out. My kids are only 3 and 6, but it is best to get started young.
I have 7yo son and 5yo daughter.. son keeps his room pretty clean, everything has a spot.. daughter.. huh takes her 2 days to pick her toys up... cleaning her room means crying herself to sleep because there are to many toys.. she would rather throw them away, and by that i mean she would put them in the garbage bag herself rather then put them in her toy box.. doesnt make much sense.. so now with her we implimented the 10 things a day.. she has to pick up 10 things everyday.. doesnt always get everything up.. but if i work on her she will do 20.. It doesnt seem to be as much to her if shes counting it i guess?? or she knows the end is coming and she wont have to pick up much more.HTH
My kids are all grown now, but I never worried about what their rooms looked like. The rule was they had to keep the door closed so Dad and I didn't have to see the mess and they could NOT have a friend over unless the room was clean! My house was where all the kids wanted to come because we have 60 acres with a pond, 4 wheeler, trampoline, dogs (and litters of puppies), etc. so we never had to fight the battle over their rooms. Now if you want battles - let's discuss bathrooms!!! LOL
i worked as a 24/7 nannie for a family for about a year. when i first started working there the children's bedroon was wall to wall 2 ft deep with clothes and toys. i bagged and boxed the stuff up and gave them one week to put them away right. if it wasn't done i threw them in the trash if they were broken or gave then away. after the second bag was put out they soon learned i meant business. also they could not play with friends on the weekends until the room was picked up and straightend. the rule was no one was allowed in the house so they had to go out side to play with friends. it was hard to get rid of some of the stuff but they soon learned the rule. we had "camp" for a week in the yard the following summer. they had learned to pick up so well that they even cleaned the tent and straightened it that week. i feel the big trick is to set rules, what happens if they are broke and to be sure you follow thru completely. my biggest rule with this family is if i walk on it or it is stuffed behind or under something then it must not mean anything to you and it will be gone.
I have always said that if the dirty clothes don't come out of the room, they have to live with that. No dishes or food and as long as the mess does not oooz out fine. But when the friends would come over and they saw the mess, things started to change.
The "stuff" on the floor doesn't really bother me. As long as there is a path to the bed for nighttime kisses, I'm ok. My husband is a little more of a stickler about it. My biggest thing is that I sort the laundry every Monday evening. When I go in the kids' rooms to get their hampers and the previous week's laundry has not yet been put away, I just turn around and leave. I've told them that if they have so many clothes that they don't need to put the clean stuff away, then I don't need to do needless work. My 10 yo son can usually make it about 2 weeks before he starts complaining and then, all of a sudden, the clothes are put away and the room is clean! My 13 yo daughter puts her clothes away right away! She can't bear to be without a certain outfit!
I tell my son to keep his door closed so that I don't see the mess. If it's not in the laundry on laundry day, it doesn't get washed. And if anything crawls out of your room under its own power, it gets washed or shot!! :)
Years ago i gave each of my kids divided hampers, or 2 (or 3) separate hampers. One for dark clothes, one for light/white, one for gym clothes, work out clothes, etc. They can be in the corner of the bedroom, in the closet, in the bathroom, or even in the hall, whatever works. That way, they sort the laundry when they put it in the hamper. If it isn't in the (correct) hamper, it doesn't get washed. It also makes it easier to find something if they have to wear a certain school shirt the next day.
After reading most of these comments we all share the same problems with our children cleaning their rooms. patience is always much needed when teaching children to clean. My son 12 and daughter 11 both have regular chores along with cleaning their rooms. And just as if their laundry does not get put in the laundry baskets they don't get clean clothes. They get to redo chores that have not been done well. Thay also get a small allowance which is determined by how well the behave and do their chores.
The daily rule is just a clear path to the bed & windows in case of emergency. Otherwise, we clean up the bedrooms together at least once a week. We started with easy guidelines like the floor had to be picked up or desk cleared off or little things like that and built up from there. They still aren't old enough yet to completely keep it picked up at all times or do it all by themselves but we're getting there. Oh yeah, we also have a rule in the house that when friends come over, the friends have to help clean up any messes they make before they leave. Has worked quite well.
