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Tips to Monitor Kids’ Viewing
Have you found an easy way to monitor and control what your children view on TV or the internet? Share your tip or any other “watch-outs.” |
Okay, I am totally new to this site so please "break me in easily". I am currently going through a divorce and I keep my kids all of the time myself except for when my mom keeps them when I am at work, (I am a full-time registered nurse and work 12-14 hourly shifts 4 sometimes 5 times a week). My soon "ex" to be never even calls to check on the kids and never asks to keep them for me. Actually I am pretty much thankful for that because he is a HEAVY drug and alcohol user...OK sorry,got a bit off track just had to get that off my chest. I pretty much do not have a problem with my 6 yr. old son with watching TV because all he is interested in is The Disney Channel,Nickelodeon,ABC Family, The Cartoon Network...etc.....(pretty much all cartoons) and not before he does all of his homework. My 9 yr. old daughter is a totally different story and has made it a bit hard on me because I have to block off 3 TVs except for the one in my bedroom and even then I have to lock my bedroom door so she canniot sneak in to watch TV shows she is not supposed to be watching. She is really great at everything like her cheerleading practice and cheering at ballgames, gymnastics, schoolwork,honor roll, church choir practice and such a great helper as far as helping cook, helping do laundry,house cleaning, well so many things but I have caught her so many times trying to unblock channels that I feel she should not yet be exposed to. I guess I am asking for some help from someone else for some advice as to what to do regarding the TV habits. I know a 9 year old female is probably a bit inquisitive and I try to be honest with her but I do need some guidance and help myself as to what it is I could or should do regarding this issue...OK People, please try to help if you can, Thanks so much, Cherrace2999Cherrace2999
I find it hard to block some stuff because of commercials and movie preveiws. One would think that when watching a "family channel that the commercials would be "family" oriented. It is getting very hard to monitor what children watch because of this.
My 15 year old was REALLY into myspace and whenever I would come near the computer, she would downsize it so I couldn't see anything...the next thing I knew, she was talking to this less than favorable boy from school! Needless to say, we blocked the site and she cannot get on it here anymore! She goes to her Dad's and he put his computer in her bedroom and was not monitoring it at all! I had to call him and give him a piece of my mind and now she doesn't have the internet anymore in her room....as far as I know! I monitor EVERYTHING my daughter and my 11 year old son watch and get into on the computer, I am probably TOO over protective, but I do not trust anyone out there when it comes to my kids!
It is hard to be where your kids are at all times, but we need to be more vigilant. I think TVs and computers in the child's room is wrong. It isolates them from the family and there is no one there telling them what they should or should not watch or access. Cerrace, have you ever watched what is on the channels you say are the only ones your son watches? Some of that stuff is NOT family oriented - much of it is for older teens, but even then I would not let my daughter watch. It encourages attitude and disrespect for elders. We have blocked the cartoon network because even if they are cartoons, they are trash. ABC Family has some doubtful things on it too. You need to watch some of the stuff they are watching on this so called "family" friendly stations.
I also agree that the movie clips and ads are disgusting. Sometimes I am caught off guard when an ad comes on and I have to tell my daughter to close her eyes. This doesn't do much because it makes her even more curious, but some of it can cause nightmares. We don't watch much TV and will be watching less and less. It is just not worth the time to sit and be exposed to that stuff.
There are so many worthwhile things to do - TV should be a very small part of the day. Read together, play board games, take a walk, sing silly songs, color together, just sit and talk.
All for now - Janice
While the kids ask, we have always said no to computers and tvs in their bedrooms. Because we homeschool, all of them have their own computers, but in one location in a main part of the house. I usually watch tv with the kids, but don't let them watch just any cartoon. There are a few select ones that we allow them to watch and when a new one comes on we watch together and then I let them know if they'll be allowed to watch it again or not. My oldest is 12 and he is pretty trustworthy and will turn the channel if something comes on that he knows we're not allowed to watch. My 10 yr old daughter and 8 yr old son will sometimes push the envelope but they are also aware that they will lose tv privileges in a second and don't make an issue often. They're not allowed on facebook or myspace AT ALL, and we have recently taken away youtube access. I was really proud last week when my son was on the phone with his friend and they were both on their computers. His friend told him to go to a website and when he saw that it was inappropriate he told his friend so, hung up and came and told me. I let the child's mother know and left it for her to handle. My husband will watch some programs that I don't like them to see (like Heroes - I HATE that show) and sometimes they'll watch it, but most often they go and do another activity when it's on.
Cherrace, I sympathize with you and understand your plight. Short of hiding all the remotes in the house, you are doing the right thing. There are tons of shows on HBO/SHO/ENCR that are not kid friendly. I have a 15 year old and an 8 year old and I block anything R and above on all the TV's except the one in my bedroom (and that remote is hidden at all times). You should see the trash that is on there on a Friday or Saturday night! Absolutely nothing for a 15 year old to be exposed to!!! If you can, try to watch together the shows that seem to pique her interest. You can "info" them on your remote and see what the show is rated first. Then maybe together you can discuss why you don't think it's appropriate for her to watch. Honesty - both you and her - is key here!
Good Morning America had a cyber expert on this morning. She was talking about lmk.girlscouts.org. it is a site that will help adults track what their kids do on the net and help kids stay safe too.
- Susan said:
My 15 year old was REALLY into myspace and whenever I would come near the computer, she would downsize it so I couldnt see anything...the next thing I knew, she was talking to this less than favorable boy from school! Needless to say, we blocked the site and she cannot get on it here anymore! She goes to her Dads and he put his computer in her bedroom and was not monitoring it at all! I had to call him and give him a piece of my mind and now she doesnt have the internet anymore in her room....as far as I know! I monitor EVERYTHING my daughter and my 11 year old son watch and get into on the computer, I am probably TOO over protective, but I do not trust anyone out there when it comes to my kids!
Dear susan try this site. lmk.girlscouts.org. They can help you with monitoring your daughters web use and they have information on keeping kids safe on the net. You could use it to start a conversation with your daughter about keeping her safe.
FYI - not all shows on Cartoon Network are good, you might want to watch with him to be sure you approve of what he is seeing. As for your daughter, ask her why she wants to watch those particular shows ... once you know you can work from there.
I do the same thing with my son. Anything that he does online, I have to monitor. He has a myspace account, but I had access to it, too. Its either that or nothing. I go in and check on his messages. He has a TV in his room, but on that I did have to take drastic measures. I cut off the cable and he only has an antenna. Whatever he can watch with that should be enough for him, if not, too bad. He is 12 years old and he thinks he can get away with everything. Last week, he decided to change the password for his myspace account and that was the end of a computer. Now I keep the computer off, unless I have to do work. Its hard when you have other kids, working, and even taking college classes, but I think as parents we have to do anything it takes to keep our kids safe, even if they think it makes them miserable.
It's not hard at all...don't own a TV. Keep computers in public areas. Keep busy doing real things, and there's no time for "too much" screen time.
My youngest daughters are 5 and 7. My husband has partitions set up for both girls. They can only go on specified sites for kids. Anything that is not programmed into the browser is blocked. You can do this with Internet Explorer or Firefox by going into security settings. We have Verizon FIOS for TV and have that set up to block adult content in their room.
One solution is to remove the TV's from the kids bedrooms. Come on, do kids really need to be hiding out in their rooms some much anyway?
We limit the channels the 2 girls are allowed to watch. And if they veer from those channels when we're not home, they forfeit their tv priviledges for a week.
I agree with having to have access to any online accounts my children have. It's either that or nothing. The only places they're allowed to go are Disney, Barbie and Webkinz without me watching. With the exception of my daughter being able to play runescape....IF she only talks to her friends....I see her chatting to anyone we DON'T know...I close the account for her!
- Nancy said:
One solution is to remove the TVs from the kids bedrooms. Come on, do kids really need to be hiding out in their rooms some much anyway?
It's never easy when we have to monitor and/or control what our children view on the TV or internet ,but it is definitely our responsibility to do so .We can't just say ," don't watch that !"without explaining the "whys" .When we explain to our children that they are not ready to view certain material they soon come to realize that we have their best interest at heart .If they do happen to view something unappropiate we must sit down and discuss with them how they felt about the program .Did it make you feel scared ,sad ,older ,etc.....?I just find it's best to set boundaries and when that trust is broken ,then it's time for some sort of age-appropiate discipline .Vanessa
I know too how hard it can be to monitor kids TV watching, but it's something we have to do and as moms or guardians, we can all pitch in and give advice. What we do as our son has Asperger's Autism(and is basically obsessed with the TV) is we hide the remotes in our bedroom and make it a point to NOT have the TV on as often as possible. It's funny as we have a DVR and if the TV is off it's taping what we want to watch. I'm even reminded by our son with a chuckle as he mentions(if it's Tuesday evening) if the TV is off, "mom, your 'American Idol' is on now." But anyway...if you can turn the tube off and engage the kiddies into other activities, like reading with them, playing games(board, card...remember those? Any game that is NOT electronic) you'll be giving pretty decent memories and have fun w/the kids as well as stimulate those brain cells.
My son is now 18. I was very strict as he was growing up. Internet access was in my room (would have been in the family room if we had one) and I would occasionally check what sites he was visiting while he was on and via the history. Erasing the history (once he figured out how to do it) carried a consequence. The computer was (is) mine and as the adult I am responsible for him. TV was only in the living room/dining room area and I blocked most of the cartoon channels, music videos, and TV shows by rating, etc from a young age - changing the parameters. As a result he watched other shows on history, animals, gadgets, etc. and has received compliments beginning in jr. hi for knowing about a wide variety of subjects. He had access to "pop culture" at friends' homes - more than what I would have chosen, but it was limited because he wasn't always there. We selected our shows and watched them together - so I watched some Lizzie McGuire and lots of Disney movies and he watched ER and L&O, CSI, etc. as he got older. Those shows gave us a lot to talk about in terms of life "out there". I was able to peanut gallery my views and values in the context of TV shows. Having discussions and analyzing others was far more effective than lecturing him could have ever been. Btw, he is ADHD - diagnosed in 3rd grade and this approach to social analysis and commentary took him from being a problem on the playground in elementary school to a model summer camp counselor starting his freshman year in high school and next year, he'll be an RA in college because he's "wise and empathetic" with his peers.
- Clare said:
- Susan said:
My 15 year old was REALLY into myspace and whenever I would come near the computer, she would downsize it so I couldnt see anything...the next thing I knew, she was talking to this less than favorable boy from school! Needless to say, we blocked the site and she cannot get on it here anymore! She goes to her Dads and he put his computer in her bedroom and was not monitoring it at all! I had to call him and give him a piece of my mind and now she doesnt have the internet anymore in her room....as far as I know! I monitor EVERYTHING my daughter and my 11 year old son watch and get into on the computer, I am probably TOO over protective, but I do not trust anyone out there when it comes to my kids!
Dear susan try this site. lmk.girlscouts.org. They can help you with monitoring your daughters web use and they have information on keeping kids safe on the net. You could use it to start a conversation with your daughter about keeping her safe.
- Susan said:
- Susan said:
My 15 year old was REALLY into myspace and whenever I would come near the computer, she would downsize it so I couldnt see anything...the next thing I knew, she was talking to this less than favorable boy from school! Needless to say, we blocked the site and she cannot get on it here anymore! She goes to her Dads and he put his computer in her bedroom and was not monitoring it at all! I had to call him and give him a piece of my mind and now she doesnt have the internet anymore in her room....as far as I know! I monitor EVERYTHING my daughter and my 11 year old son watch and get into on the computer, I am probably TOO over protective, but I do not trust anyone out there when it comes to my kids!
I have 3 children - 14, 8, and 4. We do not have cable or satellite. We have considered it, but when we go places that have all those channels, it is VERY difficult to monitor what they watch. (Often there are inappropriate commercials even if we approve of a show). I have found that for the most part, my children are content with what is on regular television. We do have an extensive DVD collection - which helps us avoid the trashy commercials and we know exactly what they will be watching. We figure we're not spending a monthly payment for cable, so we have no problem just buying a DVD when the kids show an interest. We have begun buying seasons of "oldie" cartoons - like Flinstones, Jetsons, etc. . . Even my teenager enjoys those when they're on. If he (my 14 year old) wants to watch a more adult show, we watch it after the younger kids go to bed. By the way, we have only one TV in any of our bedrooms. It is a tiny old T.V. that does not have an antenae and plays only VHS tapes, so I don't have to worry about anything that get's watching in there either. We actually have 3 televisions in the living room. One is for the WII, one is for the Game Cube, and one is for regular television/DVD watching. One of the living room T.V.'s used to be in my oldest son's bedroom, but it was too hard to monitor, so we moved it. As for internet monitoring - My oldest once liked to get on WOW (World of Warcraft), an online game when he was 11. We didn't have a problem at first, but realized that it was an unhealthy thing for him to be doing. We could not control the chat that he read. He became an excellent typist, but his father and I feel like it contributed to a bad attitude and lack of desire to do anything in real life. I do not recommend letting kids get started on an online game like W.O.W. unless you are able to really monitor who they are talking to - which I haven't figured out. My sister has some sort of program that takes a screen picture every 20 seconds or something. She is able to go back and see where they've gone online, and what they've said/read in chat. She caught her son chatting with a man who could have potentially been a danger. Knowing what I know now, I just don't recommend letting them get started on something like that. My 8 year old will not be playing online games until he is at least 13 - then we will have some serious talks about internet safety, etc. . .
As I said before, if you have tweens and teens, as you're watching shows that address an important topic (internet stalkers, kids running off to meet "other kids" that aren't kids, drug use, alcohol abuse/partying, lying to get out of the house to go out with friends, etc.) make a note of it or DVR it. Watch the show together and then discuss the topic. It was a lot easier to discuss those subjects and others after seeing "a case" on ER, L&O or CSI. I don't watch sitcoms, but they are likely to have episodes that would work as well. Now, with netflix, downloadable episodes, etc., it's easier to time the show to what works for your family.
Our family doesn't watch much tv and what we do watch, we watch together. So that makes it easy to ensure that what our 6yo is seeing is healthy for him! Same thing with the computer; he does very little on it except for some school-related assignments, which (since he can't type yet except by hunt-and-peck) I also help him with. This works well for us--we are pretty involved in our community so we don't usually miss the tv!
truth be told, i love watching tv, or at least having it on as a background companion. on the other hand, by the time my kids were pre-schoolers, it became clear that disagreements about the tv became stressful on a daily basis and so we eliminated tv completely for the kids. no approved stations no nothing during the school week. the kids were told (3 years apart) that there was absolutely no tv during the week and they could knock themselves out on friday nights, saturdays, and sundays with approved shows/channels. life was difficult or contrary for maybe 10 days. and then it stopped. they read. they played. later on they did homework, messed around, played with one another or outside, but reading became a huge influence. they could read junk, but not passively watch it on tv. and tv became inconsequential until the weekend. mind you they also had saturday school from 9 - 1 every saturday and community work/religious obligations from 10:30 - 1:00 on sunday, but it did not take more than about 2 weeks of being friendly vs. punitive and consistent for them to understand that stupid tv was an adult luxury, if that's what mom wanted to do with her time. and trust me, i love stupid tv. but my 2 boys got over it really quickly. no apologies, just lots of fun watching movies, cartoons, etc., on the weekends. sometimes together, sometimes while i was doing housework . or even watching something else. worked for us. i was really surprised that they didn't resent the regulation more, but i cannot begin to tell you how much easier life became with the absence of little kid tv arguments. lots of people thought i was being extreme;you have no idea how much calmer home life became i continued to have the tv on while cooking or later on, but it was clearly made off limits to them and they were remarkably ok with that. now i watch more junk than they do.
I monitor what my children view on the computer by putting the trusted sites that I allow them to go to on different tabs, that they can click on. That way I know exactly where they will go and that they will not see anything they shouldn't on a google search either.T.V. , I only allow them to watch Boom channel while I am not in the room. It is the only safe, kid friendly channel including safe commercials as well!! If they do not wish to watch what is on that channel, and I can not be in the room with them to watch a different channel, then they do not watch TV.
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